dokkaebi: art from The Invisibles (so you say you want a revolution)
[personal profile] dokkaebi
At last, it is MY turn to write a bittersweet "nothing gold can stay" post. Yes, I pretty much slunk out of Iowa City without making a big to-do about it. I don't believe in goodbyes, I believe in see-you-laters. Can I imagine a future that doesn't have you in it? Of course I can; I'm a writer; I have a pretty good imagination. It's that grey and wholly uninteresting place I have absolutely no intention of inhabiting long term.

Because we're family now. Because we've played together and worked together and gone to class and eaten and traveled and shopped and bitched and laughed and cried and drunk and fallen asleep (not blacked out!) and driven through storms together. Because I've never had to get pierced or inked alone. Because we had shower parties and study parties and hairdye parties and hey-it's-Friday-so-let's-throw-a-party parties. Because we waged war on Asian ladybugs. Because we watched in deepening horror as John Kerry's decapitated head performed cunnilingus on a bubbleheaded co-ed whilst our benevolently sadistic RA watched our faces and laughed with boyish delight. Because we had Midnight Breakfast dressed like pirates. Because we braved the crowds to see Noam Chomsky, and the Dresden Dolls, and Cobra Starship, and Murder By Death, and every nerdy and/or awesome independent film released in the vicinity. Because we packed upwards of 15 people into our dorm room to watch Project Runway. Because we smuggled hamsters into said dorm rooms. Because we sat in the hallway, impeding foot traffic and gabbing until the wee hours of morning despite our perfectly viable bedrooms and lounge mere feet away. Because we raved. Because we played board/card/video/nerdy writerly games all the time. Because we roamed about campus and town in a great amoebic mass, occupying half a city bus / Z'Mariks / Java Juice. Because we had Coffee Night, and the Bitchcraft Coven, and Ghost Comma, and Secret Santa, and Old Chicago, and Tiger Gang Barracuda Zombie Club. Because we all dressed up for Hallowe'en. Because we are the philosophers who query, At what point does a lie become incestuous?

This time next week I'll be starting my new life in Korea. I'm excited about the future. I can't wait to meet it. But I'm pretty sure that I won't ever again meet such a huge swarm of people nearly as smart or crazy or fierce. I doubt that anyone else in the world will ever be able to understand me half as well. Which is why, though you may think you've gotten rid of me, you're sadly mistaken.

You'll never be free.

Never.
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dokkaebi: art by Amy Sol and Casey Weldon (Default)
Noctiluca

November 2009

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